像瘋了一樣

想知道你是否還是一樣
有沒有學會比較堅強
你快樂的背後 有失望
你何曾在意當時我也是這樣被你傷

想明白為何對我那麼冷淡
有回來故事會不會是這樣
明知道你不會再回頭看
我還是一直以為一直以為有希望

像瘋了一樣 越想你就越心傷
我多麼愛你 卻難逃你的魔掌
像瘋了一樣 你缺少了安全感
你讓我多麼難堪 卻還是一樣把我傷
-----------------------------



I guess i've learned quite a few things from this incident
the only regret i had is it takes something this tragic for me to realize so many things

the feeling of standing over someone is very...breath taking
i didn't know what to say or feel
but tears filled up the silence
images of our times together and images of her in pain all flushed through my mind
it's sad to know that everyone goes through these type of situations

this is why you just gotta do what you want to do
because life IS short
what is it that you want to do?
what is it that you want to do that will let you have no regrets whatsoever after doing it?
if it's what you want
then go for it
if it's what you don't want
drop it



the last, and strongest, memory i had of her
was one day when she was leaving our house for Canada
she grabbed onto my arm with tears filled in her eyes and said "please take care of your mom"
seeing loved ones getting old is painful
seeing loved ones crying is even more painful
i have never seen her cry before
even when the doctor broke the news to her that she had cancer
she did not drop a single tear
this is how brave she is
this is how thoughtful she is
no matter how much pain she is in
the first thing that she does is thanking everyone around her
worrying if she's letting people down

comparing myself to her
i am ashamed


i am definitely starting new, viewing life in a different perspective
i want to do what i want to do and hold on to those that matters to me the most