minuscule

"to find someone you actually love. who loves you. the chances are minuscule"



minuscule


yes it is
it is.

當然

當然會想念

當然難

當然痛苦



但是世界是美好的

Scratch scratch scratch

scratch scratch scratch..


each slot/letter you scratch, you find out more about the scratch card


scratch scratch scratch....

some you might find to like..or even LOVE

scratch scratch scratch....

some when it's revealed, you can't help but shake your head for the disappointment



scratch scratch scratch....

during the process of uncovering this card, you hope to discover something of your liking

scratch scratch scratch....

and sometimes it does not turn out the way you want them to be.
the card itself is pre-made, you can't change anything about it

scratch scratch scratch...
but sometimes, you might just get lucky


for me
even if it's a small reward
it will be sufficient for me to be extremely happy over it

just for that chance to discover something pleasant
i am willing to go try over and over again



win #2
i hope i wont become a gambler HAHAHA

Sub Chapter

This is a sub chapter because its importance is not as massive as a chapter is
but i still felt the need to assert my thoughts

this sub chapter is called disappointment


對人的期望不要太高還是比較好
免得感到失望

especially you, you


and oh yeah
definitely you.


moving on

New Chapter

For this chapter of my life
I have decided to start with the double P plan
Productivity and Positivity

and i am doing well on my first day

i have moved on and am ready for the new challenges that are awaiting for me

hi world, here i come :)


*won 5 dollars from scratch card

Just the way you are

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

好了

我
常常快樂
是因為___快樂


我想
我就是這種人吧



time for a new chapter in life.

naiveness

a walk with Mocha
usual routine
put on leash
walk down the hill
walk back up the hill
go back home
wipe his paws
take off his leash

what is so ordinary became the only thing that seems to be able to make me smile
when i touch the leash, Mocha will run to me with hope filled in his eyes and immediately sit down in front of me to show his manners
with a calm face and posture, Mocha still can't hide his evident excitement from his skinny tail continuously wagging from left to right
right when we stepped out the door, Mocha raised his hind left leg in an awkward position to release himself
after he was done, we started our walk down the hill
you know how there's a saying that "dogs are just like their owners"?
i thought it was just pure luck, but today i realized it is so damn true
staring at Mocha from the back
i realized he reminded me of a particular person
head tilted
unbalanced
just when he's walking towards one side
he realizes that he was deviating from the path
so he adjust his footsteps
and starts tilting the other direction
he reminded me
of myself
and i can't help but laugh
now we're home
i sat down to get ready to wipe his paws
after i got a piece of wet tissue paper
he raised his front left leg
i wiped his paw
then he switched to his front right leg
then hind left leg
then hind right leg
without me telling or assisting him in any way
what a smart doggie :)

now as i'm typing this
he is next to me staring out the window
wagging his tail whenever a rabbit passes by


why am i typing this blog?

simplicity and naiveness

as we grow up in life
we learn a lot more
we find out a lot more
maybe more than we want to at times

why is it something as simple as "taking a walk" or "petting" or even "looking at him" make Mocha so happy?
it's because these are gestures of love
it shows him that we care about him
of course these are just assumptions made by myself
but it occurred to me that everyone, or at least i am, is the same
i am happy on my birthday because i see the caring in action
rather than just saying "i care about you" i actually saw it

maybe sometimes we are not as "grown up" as we think we are
maybe we just might need a little more explaining and a little more action to know exactly what is going on
it takes time for a children to fully understand something
are we really old enough to eliminate that process?
when you say "yeah i understand"
do you really?



being able to express yourself is one thing
but being able to express yourself fully and clearly is a whole other level

lies

這一切 我都是在隱瞞自己
不想接受的事實 就跟自己說“沒關係” 然後就放在一旁
我是想騙誰
從小就想說這輩子 要當好人
當那種人最好 別人挑步出毛病的那種人
結果現在才發現
我是多麼可怕的人
我真的對自己很失望
真的很對不起

spoiled

i gotta say
i am seriously spoiled by my friends
an unplanned birthday with

three cakes
many gifts
surprises
free dinners (calvin, diana)
one cooked meal (jeff pan)
pictures (oh yes)
laughters
giggles
laughters again

i am very VERY happy

birthdays always make me realize how much i love hanging out with people, how much i love my friends
the reasons that make me happy of course include all the above
but most of all
is because EVERYONE is together
i felt like lately we haven't hung out as a group
yesterday actually brought me back to the times in the beginning when we have kickback at Ed's (best times EVA!)
just seeing everyone in the same room together makes the best birthday present

all at once i get to see
Tina screaming and laughing in everyones faces
Daniel stomping everywhere demand for attention
Chae laughing at everyone's ridiculous actions
Jay being cool as usual
Yueyue being her girly self with a very cute outfit (you did not drink!! WHAAAA)
Jeff Pan thinking he's the best at beer pong
Calvin next to his laptop thinking he's some world famous DJ
Jessica being a tank and taking care of everyone <3
Matt being hilarious as usual with his 'Hello Titty' shirt
So Yun being cute and caring ("i think she drank enough") and calling me "Sylvie"
Tiffany staying sober because she's the DD(designated driver) but not a DD(debbie downer) :)
Alice being sexy AS USUAL and speaking in Mandarin + making people drink
Audrey being super cute and collapsing everywhere
Grady being sneaky because i didn't see you much
Alan wanting to make me drink during bet your liver but epic failed
Diana being a good girl finishing her muir papers
Dianne and Steven being lovey dovey
and then there's me

being extremely happy :D

THANK YOU GUYS <3

blessed

i am definitely feeling happier these days
friends?
family?
more diligent?

who knows what it is
but i do hope this feeling lasts

對或錯

總是想做對的事
但是事情總會有兩面
讓步 就被說是假,愛裝
為自己爭口氣 就被說是ＢＩＴＣＨＹ

這世界真的是太可怕了
長越大
知道跟發現的越多
有些是還是不要知道的比較好
看以前那副天真樣
還真的蠻想念的

nostalgic

it doesn't matter
just ignore the lames and live your own life
because you're so much better than that

tonight was fun
it was like old times
which i've been reminiscing a lot lately

i just purely enjoyed the fact that
we were together having a good time
celebrating our friendship
or maybe just chilling
but most definitely
feeling more like myself than the past few months
hopefully it will continue this way

only

我只想知道我的所作所為到底是不是對的
到底是不是我自己想做的
到底是不是有意義的

forced

i need a hope
a hope that in spite of a gloomy, harried, and harassing world in which we are forced to outmaneuver others
i can still be light-hearted, spirited, buoyant, and ingenuous.


i have never been so hurt
the reality really is cruel
selfishness
revengeful
shadiness
all at once

people just seem to want to make their lives or other peoples lives miserable for their own pleasures


but you know what?
i will not let anyone defeat me
some people are only meant to be the by-passers in your life
and it's up to you to decide
no one else.

Trust pt 2

take years to build up trust
but it only take seconds to lose it

trust

what about trust?

love stories

short love stories
long love stories

regardless of the length

they are all still love stories

while some are meant to last
others are just not meant to last

Accomplishment

Today i cooked for my little family
in a sense i'm really excited
i actually didn't fail
but in a sense
i started to miss my mom alot
i'm already going into the 2nd year of college
my brother and my sister are graduating from college next year
it seems as if i were still in Taiwan being the clueless little girl who sniffs her blankie
all has changed but i am still the girl with the blankie
what does this static quality mean?
i've been living for almost 19 years now
yet the meaning of "life" still confuses me at times
once a friend asked me "when do you NOT think so much?"
does trouble come find its way to always resides in my head?
or do i always occupy myself with meaningless problems?


simple life

is that what i want?
is that even possible for me?

the one obvious good thing that's going on right now is definitely my photo class
sometimes i do wonder
am i majoring in vis art because i can't do anything else?
am i making myself "think" that i like to take pictures?
but questions solve
this is the funnest class i've ever taken
might be much work but guess what? i don't mind a bit
i find myself rushing myself to finish task from another class
or pushing back the other class' assignments to make time to take pictures
now that i know everything much clearer
i feel so much more confident
looking at my pictures
i am proud
i have finally found something to do that makes me happy
i have set foot on another step closer to the future
很有成就感

the ability to capture beauty and memories

damn
what a friggin great invention