diet

taken on 1/18/10 on the way back to UCSD

people must be annoyed by how often i said or talk about diet
i really need to fucking suck it up and actually follow my plan
i'm even annoyed by myself ugh
but it just gets really frustrating

now its day 2
working out in the morning and eat banana!
i really thought i was going to give up this morning
when i was on the elliptical..maybe its because i didn't eat anything
i felt REALLY tired..and wanted to stop
but i can't believe i actually finished it..
it felt good
finishing something you thought you can't
and also thanks to daniel's morning call..or else i'd probably fail :P

i really don't know why i care so much
i should just be happy about how i am and how i look
but it just gets to me when people talk about it
why do all of us adore attention so much?
i don't know if it's a good thing anymore
i'm dieting but i'm not happy?
i remember being so confident in highschool
what happened to that sylvia?
and it wasn't like i was super skinny or anything
ugh too much to live up to
but
感情方面我倒是比較穩定
就比較沒有在想那方面的事情
覺得很輕鬆
でも 。。わたしわ愛したいと思う
if you read japanese this is SUPER POORLY WORDING JAP
haahhahahahhahah oh well
today's a big day...i'm SOOOO nervous
WISH ME LUCK!!