insomniac

i guess this is what i hate about late nights
i think a lot
i want to talk a lot

we were talking about technology is a remedy and poison at the same time in class today
remedy as to humans' needs
poison as to hurting the social relations between humans

the more i think about it
the truer it is that good & bad exist for everything
even photographs
those are what i love the most
memories
yet when i look back
it brings up a faint feeling of remorse

there are so many things i want to do
but i don't have the right to do it anymore
and i hate myself for that

方向

我只想往前走
卻步自拔的一直回頭看



被在乎的感覺
是多麼的幸福
傻

傻傻傻

bleh

yeah

sometimes i just want to slap myself


only wants it when i can't get it
when will i learn my lesson

crushed

我真的不了解為什麼有這麼多人這麼現實

前一秒鐘說得是我愛你
後一秒鐘說得也是我愛你
不同的地方就是換了對象講

前一秒鐘說得是未來可以一起做不完的事
後一秒鐘說得是過去做錯的事情

前一秒鐘讓我認為你們是值得尊敬的人
後一秒鐘讓我一眼都不想在看你們

前一秒鐘我信任了你
後一秒鐘就發現了

我永遠不能再信任你




有些人為了想要得到自己想要的東西
完全不去想身旁人的感受
有些人 就是自私
而那些人
永遠感受不到為別人付出,為別人想或關心的感覺是多麼的好,多麼的爽快
我想這就是為什麼我現在再做這麼多事吧
我喜歡為別人付出
我喜歡逗別人開心
讓我現在好像忙到喘不過氣來
想要證明我不是像你們一樣
想要證明我比你們想像中的堅強很多
我現在很快樂
這種讓我感到單純無憂無慮的快樂
是你從來沒有成功做到的事情

ten

it's October
a new month

lately i've been finding myself waking up to confusion
everything felt surreal
i don't feel like i'm actually living for some reason
maybe it's because of all the things i've stuffed myself with
all those never-ending tasks
all those 3 hr long lectures
all those lack of sleep
all those attitudes that i have to put up with
all those people i want to impress
all those people that bother me

i wake up
my mind is a blank,
a vast field of emptiness

i walk around
neither happy nor sad

i face you
get extremely angry

i face you
eased my temper

i go to sleep
with many things in my mind

then i wake up to a vast field of emptiness once again




i'm not really sure what's going on
it sure feels weird
since it's October
here are 10 things that i would like to achieve
1. have more chances to go back and visit my family
2. be more studious
3. have some quality time with my friends back at home, i sure misses them
4. be more sure of myself
5. start new relationships
6. host/plan/have some very successful TASA events
7. improve my singing
8. have fun at work
9. have more chances to go to clubs and raves!
10. be happier